.:: Happy Birthday, Azriatul Fareena! ::.

with the name of Allah the Most Merciful the Most Beneficent

it's 26 January..

my dear little sis's bday..

now she's 10 years old.

dia dah besar.. (:

ingat lagi ms ina still baby, baru lahir..

10 tahun, lama..

hehe, there's a funny thing bout her bday..

we actually celebrated it in advanced, hurm, the night before i back to medan..

cuz she insisted it, yeah, the fact that im not around when the times come..

hihi, n we bought her a barbie cake, and had a dine in McD..

kebetulan my granny's here n my bro, Ee just come back from ipoh..

so, semua ada.. complete..

Azriatul Fareena.

we shares a same name..

wlupun dia dh 10 thn, but sometimes she's a lot more mature than me..

ok, she's 10 n im 20 going 21 ok?

dia la penasihat yg setia..

im always ask her opinion whenever i face such conflicts..

setia.

we sleep together, and when she wakes up in the morning, she will wait until i wake up. 

she just lies beside me, waiting.

(n sumtime it takes 2-3 hours ok?hehe~)

and so many things she did touch my heart..

dia adik yg extraordinary..

bru 5 hari meninggalkn bumi malaya.

tp hati ni dh meronta-ronta nk balik!

it was so hard to leave them..

x bole nk describe, tp ckp la dgn phrase ni,

perpisahan tu sgt sakit.

sakit.

cuti sebulan di rumah mmg m'berikn efek.

lama, berbanding dulu yg hanya 2-3 mgu je.

kesian ina..

she cried so much mlm b4 i back to dis haishhh medan.

n we huddled together till we fall asleep..

sakit. sakit.

and ayah, a single msg from him yesterday just tear my heart.

huhu, miss u too, ayah.. );

mama, dia pandai sembunyikn perasaan dia..

the way she hugged, it shown that how hard to let me go.

ee, he's strong.. always strong..

sakit. sakit. sakit.

huhu,

im waiting to see them again.

june terasa sangat lama..

so my dear little sis,

along wishes u a blissful Happy Birthday..

may your life will full of love, health, bless and wealth.

i know u will be a great person someday..

along sayang ina (;

.:: Lost In Me ): ::.

with the name of Allah the Most Merciful the Most Beneficent

btul ke kmu Azriatul Farahain? btul ke kmu ni Ain? 

ive been in a self-crisis here. 

pd org lain mgkn x penting, pd sy ya, sgt pntg. 

sy konfius dgn dr sndr. is this really me? a heartless+cold+cruel person? 

my past.

it keeps haunting.

seolah-olah mmpi ngeri mcm tu xkn pernah berhenti. 

pelik. 

one moment i am a happy cheerful ain, but one moment i can just turn into heartless ain. is it becuz of wat happened in my past just turned me into a switch? like in 1 split second, everything i feel, i just can counteract it. tbe2 je perasaan tu jadi sebaliknya. i DON'T want it to happen, but it just turned. huhu, seriously sgt sedih skrg. 

i feel awful, not awesome, but awful.

ntah la, kdg2 rs mcm dr sndr ni x deserved utk happy.

 happy utk ain is an omen.

huhu, it's like, when i reached to the edge of a happy life, sumthing said "oh look, oh look, ain is going to be happy. better get her back here.."

and the thing just grab me back to my original place. wic is not happy side.

please, i don't want to be hurt again. 

adakah sbb itu? trauma? so that any tiny trigger can give a signal wic cuz all da defenses, the wall to build up again? please, dont hurt me please..

but its too late, im already hurt.

jadi rasa yg 1 tu dtg lagi.
yg setia dtg bila hati serba x kena.
KEJAM

feel like drowning. 

drenched in my pain again, gasping for air, an air who can define me who i really am. kamu, sy sgt perlukan bantuan kamu. can u help me please?

dear Allah, bantu saya kenali diri saya semula. im a stranger..

sy dah jadi orang yg x fhm dgn dr sndr. x fhm dgn apa yg sy mahukn. x fhm dgn apa yg sy rasa. perasaan ni sgt asing bg saya..

the worst is,

i end up hurting u..

 

.:: Merapu Tengah Malam ::.

with the name of Allah the Most Merciful the Most Beneficent

ehem2,

im not quite sleepy yet.

maybe cuz i planned to stay up late tonight for some reason.

so the brain told the body to keep working.

but unfortunately the plan had gone wrong.

tapi xpe, ive spent it with my dearie Nurul Husna..

Halogen & Hidrogen

(:

thanks kamu sebab sudi korban masa tido kamu utk saya..

there's nothing much to say..

simply, teringat kat orang jauh..

jauh..

ya, sangat jauh..

mungkin sebab malam ni byk sgt sebut pasal orang jauh tu kot..

just wondering, kamu tengah buat apa?

.:: Terima Kasih, Tuhan.. (; ::.

with the name of Allah the Most Merciful the Most Beneficent

mereka datang.. 

(:

agak2 senyuman kt atas tu bole describe x perasaan gembira yg aku rasa saat ni?

perasan complex mcm tu ssh nk zahirkn kt muka ni,

hanya bole rs dalam hati je..

ish, mcm sedap plak ayat ni, ingat tau ain?

these are my LOVELIES..

to uya, 

uya, thanks for da courage drive keta jauh2 wlupn kamu demam.. saya sgt terharu dgn itu.. semoga Tuhan balas jasa kamu bwk ila, pa, ness n diri kamu sendiri b'jumpa saya.. ehem, tentang soalan kamu yg sy blum jawab tu, hehe.. saya nk sgt jawab ms kamu tanya tu, tp panas la uya! haha, xde kaitan kn alasan yg saya bagi? saya hilang kata2 la, apa yg saya rasa masa tu sangat kompleks smpai ssh saya nk lafaz dgn kata2.. nanti saya susun bagi elok ye? (:

to ila,

kamu, hehe, sory sbb byk kali tenggelam kn kamu td.. saya rindu sgt kt kamu ila.. thanks ole2 dari china. (oops uya, thanks ole2 dari sarawak..). rasa mcm kamu yg paling jauh ila. byk benda yg saya t'miss share dgn kamu. ila, kalau saya cakap, saya rindu sangat2 kat kamu, kamu fhm x mksud saya? hehe.. c u again my big sistah!

to ness,

 kamu soulmate saya, tp x byk yg sy share dgn kamu kn? hehe,saya suka la gaya cobra kamu tu.. haha, thanks for filling my day too, ness. ness,igt x kamu ada bagi saya 1 surat dulu ms kita f4? hehe, mungkin kamu dah lupa, tapi isi surat tu sangat sweet. sweet, macam kamu..harap bertemu lagi. take care, sis..

to pa,

ehe, pa.. kn kamu ad tanye, knp saya x ckp pape ms kmu psg kaset Peterpan kan? mcm kat atas tadi, can't describe by words, only can feel in heart. nk respon, tp tak tau camane.. saya hanya mampu melayan perasaan je masa tu. serius, kenangan lama, perasaan lama, sume tu dtg balik ms tu. thanks sebab ingatkan saya betapa indahnya bersahabat dgn kamu.

     azriatulfarahain           shazatulshifaazulaikha

           rodhiyah    nordalila

"Ya ALLAH, dengan kurniaMu kami kau temukan, dengan rahmatMU kami berteman, dengan kasihsayangMu kami berkasihan, dan kumohon dengan izinMU semoga ia berkekalan. ameen."

p/s : saya hadiahkan lagu 'Semua Tentang Kita' ni untuk kamu. ya, kamu.. (:

.:: Little Things That Counts ::.

with the name of Allah the Most Merciful the Most Beneficent

i am thankful for...

the teenager who is not doing dishes but watching TV,

because that means he is at home, not on the streets.

the taxes that i pay,

because it means that i am employed.

the mess to clean after a gathering,

because it means that i have been surrounded by friends.

the clothes that fit a little too snugly,

because it means i have enough to eat.

my shadow that watches me work,

because it means i am out in the sunshine.

for a lawn that needs mowing, windows that need cleaning, 

and gutters that need fixing,

because it means i have a home.

the parking spot i find at the far end of the parking lot,

because it means i am capable of walking and that i have been blessed with transportation.

the lady behind me singing F key,

because it means that i can hear.

the piles of laundry and ironing,

because it means i have clothes to wear.

waeriness and aching muscles at the end of the day,

because it means i have been capable of working hard.

the alarm that goes off in the early morning hours,

because it means that i am alive. 

and finally, for too much email

because it means i friends who think of me. 

(n_n)

these words came from a poem that i copied a few years ago.

kadang2 tanpa sedar kita akan merungut dengan benda2 kecik camni. and kadang2 sbb benda2 kecik camni je panjang muncung yg kita tarik. even boleh merosakkn mood kita sehari. rugi kan?

enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back, and discover they were the big things. but how to do that?

(talk to yourself ain, cause you're always see things on the other way around)

.:: Kamu Adalah Firework! ::.

 with the name of Allah the Most Merciful the Most Beneficent

(yes, everything must start with that walaupun ia ttg lirik lagu)

FIREWORK~Katy Perry

Do you ever feel like a plastic bag
Drifting through the wind, wanting to start again?
Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin
Like a house of cards, one blow from caving in?

Do you ever feel already buried deep?
Six feet under screams but no one seems to hear a thing
Do you know that there's still a chance for you
'Cause there's a spark in you?

You just gotta ignite the light and let it shine
Just own the night like the 4th of July

'Cause baby, you're a firework
Come on, show 'em what you're worth
Make 'em go, oh
As you shoot across the sky

Baby, you're a firework
Come on, let your colors burst
Make 'em go, oh
You're gonna leave 'em falling down

You don't have to feel like a waste of space
You're original, cannot be replaced
If you only knew what the future holds
After a hurricane comes a rainbow

Maybe you're reason why all the doors are closed
So you could open one that leads you to the perfect road
Like a lightning bolt, your heart will blow
And when it's time, you'll know

You just gotta ignite the light and let it shine
Just own the night like the 4th of July

'Cause baby you're a firework
Come on, show 'em what you're worth
Make 'em go, oh
As you shoot across the sky

Baby, you're a firework
Come on, let your colors burst
Make 'em go, oh
You're gonna leave 'em falling down

Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
It's always been inside of you, you, you
And now it's time to let it through

'Cause baby you're a firework
Come on, show 'em what you're worth
Make 'em go, oh
As you shoot across the sky

Baby, you're a firework
Come on, let your colors burst
Make 'em go, oh

You're gonna leave 'em falling down

Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon

hehe, suke sgt lagu ni..

so certain lyrix dah dihighlitekn..

to me, it's telling people who have low self-esteem or feeling in a bad mood, to see how much of a great person they really are as theirselves and they are not like everyone else; they are their own person and should be proud of it. If only everyone felt that way naturally..

super feelgood,  fun and inspiring!

my life is already awesome,

it's just i need someone to say this to me,,

"embrace your awesomeness"

.:: Home is HOME ::.

with the name of Allah the Most Merciful the Most Beneficent

its been 12 days saya berada di bumi malaya. 

mmg x dpt nk describe feeling content tu camane.

bila fikir2 balik back in medan, kadang2 rasa life is hard.

struggling for dear life! (yeah, hiperbola di situ.)

kat sini memang boleh goyang kaki tengok tv..haha~

well, kepulangan kali ni disambut dgn present!

.:: a colourful keychain dgn nm Farahain

.:: beg laptop kaler ungu

.:: a cute black tshirt

then, spnjg 12 hari ni, dah holiday kat Penang n KL.. 

ehem, dapat beg satu.. hehe~

but sadly, impian nak ke Langkawi buat yg kesekian kalinya x tercapai..

ada masalah penginapan.. sebok btul la orang2 yg dah memenuhkan hotel tu.. >.<

berikutnya, saya demam..

and it causing me to miss a girls-out-time with shifaa n ness.. ):

next?

haha..

jadi suri rumah sepenuh masa lah..

but still,

home is HOME

~ my pink room ~

p/s : oops lupa. skuad harimau johan piala AFF. pulang medan dgn wajah bangga..haha~